Blundering Numbskullery

It’s Friday. You don’t want to learn about a bunch of grammar rules, right? You want to go home and relax, maybe grab a beer. So I’ll give you a break this week.

I was thinking about the word idiom, which of course led me to think about the word idiot, which led me to think about all the words we use to describe someone who is acting like an idiot. So I looked them up… and ooooh man. There are more than I ever imagined.

I don’t really know how I feel about this. On the one hand, having a great word to hurl at someone who has cut you off in traffic is a beautiful thing. On the other, using words to degrade those who actually have an intellectual disability is obviously terrible. I also live in a time when words like idiot are no longer used to describe people with genuine disabilities. We have plenty of politically correct terms that have long since replaced the derogatory ones. Does that make it ok to revert back to those terms to describe someone with full intelligence who does something stupid? Some words are off-limits in this sense, of course, particularly ones that actually describe a disability. But where’s the line? What does it say about our society that we have so many words to knock people’s intellect? Are we just really mad, or is there some sort of superiority issue to blame?

Now I’ve gone and gotten all deep. Sorry, I told you I was giving you a break. I’ll get to the good stuff. Here’s a small list of some of the many, many synonyms for idiot. I’ve left out the most offensive terms… at least the terms that seem the most offensive in 2017, anyway. Except swears. Swears are our friends.

• airhead
• ass
• assclown
• asshat
• bimbo
• birdbrain
• bonehead
• boob
• buffoon
• chowderhead
• dimwit
• dipshit
• dipstick
• doofus
• dumbass
• dummy
• dunderhead
• fool
• fopdoodle
• fuck-knuckle
• fuckwit
• ignoramus
• jackass
• know-nothing
• knucklehead
• lummox
• meathead
• moron
• muttonhead
• nimrod
• nincompoop
• ninny
• nitwit
• numbskull
• pinhead
• shithead
• shitwit
• toolbox
• twit

For the record, my favourites are asshat, fuck-knuckle, ignoramus, nimrod, numbskull, and shitwit. Also for the record, “blundering numbskullery” is a quote from Mr. Burns: arguably the cartoon king of slinging insults.

Hopefully this gives you some fresh ideas to yell from the safety of your car-bubble the next time some know-nothing nitwit pulls a bonehead maneuver in traffic. There’s a lot of dumbass muttonheads out there. Stay safe. And please feel free to add your favourites in the comments, especially those not on the list!